Sixteen seconds to save the world

I was listening to a Justin Timberlake song the other day "4 minutes"- where he sings with Madonna and ultimately states it "only takes 4 minutes to save the world." Only 4 minutes? And, how exactly would Justin and Madonna propose saving the world? Just curious.

Then, as the universe often does, it brought to my attention another interesting theory, except this one said "it only takes 16 seconds to change the world". Well, maybe it didn't promise "saving the world" but I took the leap as I read it. Let me explain why: in the book "Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting", it suggested that when it comes to creating good energy it takes a mere sixteen seconds to link up vibrationally to whatever it is you are focused on- whether it be good or bad, negative or positive--therefore assuming each of us is in control of the string of emotions we both put out and receive.....the good old Law of Attraction theory.

If this is true, couldn't a leap be made that in 16 seconds we could save the world- that is, if everyone of us realized our own power and used it for good? The potential result-- alot less negative/draining/unhappy energy sucker people out there and way more positive, light, purposeful and happy people in the world- all because people chose to be in control of their thinking and thought patterns.


How can we take this information and apply it to our SM Kids?

In thinking about this more, I wondered why I had not shared these thoughts with Hannah? The power of positive thinking and being in control of our thoughts--- what a seq way to what we are trying to help our daughter, Hannah, who has Selective Mutism. So, we had an "affirmation party" and we came up with new saying - "it will be fine in nine"- we count to nine and take a deep breath. This saying stuck- as any good rhyme will. We posted other affirmations around our house-- as a reminder that WE are all in charge of our thoughts. We also talk with the kids about the fact that they are not alone in working on their thought patterns- even adults have to work at positive thinking and reframing thoughts. I believe talking and being honest about our own struggles and HOW WE OVERCOME them is one of the more powerful ways to help our SM kids.

We can also apply the fact that what we feel is what we attract. I would venture to say that one of our biggest tasks is to convince our kids that they can overcome their unwritten rules (I can't talk to people from school or I can't talk to my family about SM) or unruly thoughts (I don't want everyone to notice me or I CAN'T talk at school, what if I say something stupid?)....But what if we helped our kids reframe this thinking-- help them see the way the feel is what they will attract. We know our SM kids are very bright and perceptive- maybe having examples of replacement language (" I am brave, I am strong, I am confident") and actually visualizing and feeling it would be a step in the right direction.

While we can speak up and for our SM kids as needed, we CAN'T get inside their heads and battle these thought patterns ourselves-- however, WE CAN do our best to model and create dialogue around positive thinking-- law of attraction-- being in control of thoughts.

I challenge you this week to come up with your own rhyme, saying, affirmation and post it where everyone can see it. AND this week I challenge all of us- to catch yourself in your own negative thinking (before the thought goes past 16 seconds) and change it! Model this for your SM kid, talk about it, live it.

A Good Read: "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn

Finding our voices

After venting to a friend recently about my frustrations with not being able to articulate my thoughts out loud -- she turned to me wisely and said "You just need to find your voice."

Finding your own voice is a universal longing. Who doesn't want that sense of being secure in themselves and what their mission is in life and then be able to articulate to the world? For as long as I can remember, this has been my dream- to understand and take hold of my strengths, use them for good, and put them out there confidently and make a difference in this world.

For me, finding my own voice has been 34 years in the making. Knowing who I am and what my strengths are was the easy part-- however, articulating out loud and confidently has proved more difficult. Through the years I would tentatively put my voice out there and then I would quickly dismiss it and/or hide it for fear of what others thought.

Who would have guessed that the very thing that brought me out of my own shell- the very thing that it took for me to rid my own silence/ get my voice out there would be my own daugher who is suffering herself from finding her own voice, but in her case, her struggle with finding her voice is in the literal sense.

Our first born, Hannah, was perfect. For the first few years of her life, she did everything early- she walked by 8 months old, she talked early, was so observant, so quick to learn, curious and absorbed everything. Hannah was also very shy to warm up to new people/ new situations. As she entered preschool, we began to discover that her anxiousness was more than just being shy. After going through preschool without speaking out loud to friends/teachers the entire year, we understood we were dealing with something different and we began to investigate.

Around the age of 4 Hannah was diagnosed with Selective Mutism, a social communicative anxiety disorder. It has been said that those who suffer from Selective Mutism want to speak, but literally can't get the words out......they can't find their voice.

Like any good parent would do, I immediately went into research mode- read, reached out to experts and other parents with SM kids, advocated at school and did everything I could to set Hannah up for success. With this, I have experienced the plethera of emotions that come with having a child with any kind of disorder-- sadness, frustration, disapointment, anger, and so on. However, with the hard emotions, I have also had this faith that Hannah was given to us because we can handle it and somehow we would figure this out.

Hannah is now 7 years old and she has taught our family so much. I find it ironic that in Hannah's silence, it has actually ridded mine--- her Selective Mutism has made me become a strong advocate for her, sometimes putting me in a position where I have to be tough and throw what people think of me out the window-- it has made me become a subject matter expert--something that has been tough for me (I get restless easy and this is a subject I am dedicated to learning inside and out), and this experience has inspired me to do what I have always wanted, which is write and hopefully make a difference.

A wise person told me that when you write you can't think too much about what you are writing or you get hung up on details. So, to that end, I will wrap up with this: no matter your age, your hesitation, your reason for not finding your true voice, you are welcome here.