I was meeting with my old boss from BBY today for coffee. We had not seen one another for 8 years! We were giving updates on what we have been doing since we had last worked and seen one another. We dished on old colleagues, personal and professional successes & challenges and spent a few minutes sharing some of our 'passions' (I am expecting my friend to buy an easel by the next time I see her!)
In reflecting on our time together in the corporate world, I shared that I always felt a little out of place in that setting because my strengths leaned toward soft skills. I have always been a 'people person' and commended on skills like empathy, positivity, harmony, good communicator, and a relationship builder. However, it wasn't long in the corporate world before I figured out that these skills don't always get the same attention or are not as valued as the gal/guy in the cube next to me who was a hard hitting, unemotional and results driven person. I do not intend to offend any corporate people out there--and surely there are people with soft skills that do very well and are highly regarded in the corporate world.....however, FOR ME, hindsight has taught me that I am better suited for a smaller organization and one that is in absolute alignment with my values.
Today the realization hit me that had it not been for these soft skill gifts that God gave me, I might not have been as well equipped to help Hannah with her Selective Mutism. The very skills that come naturally to me are what have carried me through this journey.
I remember this one conversation I had with my "strengths coach" while at a training years ago-- she said that empathy might not be what brings me great success in my current job BUT it will serve me very well on a personal level and especially as a mom (I was pregnant at the time with Hannah)- what this coach gave me was a new way of looking at the situation- a fresh perspective.
So, I got to thinking........ what would a job description look like for an SM mom?
Something like this-
This job is full time with no pay and lots of overtime. You will be compensated and rewarded in the way of progress made by your child. This progress will not happen overnight, yet in baby steps, and only you will understand just how BIG those baby steps are. You must be observant and notice each gain and praise- and be sure to include your child in deciding how they like to get praised. You must be able to rally your whole family to support this child unconditionally and keep them in the loop on setbacks and successes.
Must be able to deal with ambiguity. No two days will be alike in this job- patience, empathy and compassion are a must. This person must have good organizational skills and attention to detail- this job entails coordination efforts between parents (to educate on SM and schedule playdates), school, (for meetings about IEP's and 504's)the community (educating coaches, Sunday School teachers, waitresses, etc), thus making strong written and interpersonal skills a must.
This person must be passionate about advocacy and with that, have the ability to influence others. May be called on to present information to the school and/or SM support groups. Must be strong in their convictions and able to withstand push back from school. Will be expected to advise school personnel and consult with therapists for best treatment approach. Must be proficient in Microsoft word and Internet savvy as to best document progress and research current SM data. Also must be creative in developing goals and rewards that motivate SM child to make progress.
I have a grateful heart that my mark in the world so far is tackling this issue of Selective Mutism. I will not take credit for getting Hannah through this-- as SHE is doing the hard work-- and we have been blessed in having supportive family, friends and now expert therapists. However, I am grateful that some of the things that come naturally to me are the very things that have helped us on this journey.
I may not have climbed the corporate ladder, but I have climbed alongside Hannah and am confident we will reach the top together. In the end there will be no greater accolade, recognition or reward than seeing her spread her wings and fly, her spirit and voice as one.
What about you? How have you used some of your strengths to help you on your journey with SM or other challenges thrown at you in life?
For more about StrengthFinder I referred to above: http://gmj.gallup.com/content/102310/clifton-strengthfinder-book-center.aspx
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"(author unknown). One of my favorite quotes.
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