Human Connection- is there anything more powerful? I think not.
I set out this weekend to visit my grandmother,Mimi, who lives in Baltimore. She will turn 93 years old on December 17th. She was recently hospitilized, the first time she has been in a hospital since her children were born! My whole life Mimi has been the picture of health and an independent, on the go lady. She rarely sits still and prefers it that way. I knew I had to visit her so that we could share some 1:1 time together and connect. This weekend reminded me (again) of the value in just sitting together- whether there is conversation or not- and how powerful that human connection is. Mimi and I chatted, reminisced, laughed and also had a battle of wills about who was actually taking care of who while I was there. Mimi is one of a kind--How very fortunate I am to have had this time to connect.
This weekend I also had the opportunity to meet my 1st interviewee for my book on Selective Mutism. Talk about powerful human connection. We met for the first time at diner in Annapolis, Maryland. We had only talked via email prior to our meeting. Neither of us knew what to expect and I know I was a little anxious about how things would go. My first inclination was to give her a hug when we met, as I felt like we already had an unspoken bond in having SM kids and this shared experience. We proceeded to talk for over 3 hours and had I not had to leave to catch my flight, I imagine we could have stayed there all day talking. Another reason to be grateful- having had this opportunity to connect in person and hear her family's unique and inspiring journey with SM.
Finally, today I was doing my 'usual' run to Target and had another connecting moment. I was looking at some Christmas decorations and came across something that made me smile- a Star Wars Yoda tree topper- no lie, you could actually top your tree with a Yoda that lit up....what a riot! I was partially amused and partially horrified about putting something like this on top of my Christmas tree. As I stood there, having this internal struggle in my head, I let out a few chuckles. A young man, who looked to be about thirty-something, was in the same aisle and turned and looked at me. A little embarrassed that I was making a "scene", I quickly explained, "I was just laughing over this tree topper- what will they think of next - my 5 year old son would LOVE this and I was thinking about the joy on his face if I were to bring it home." I was about to look away and move on with my shopping when I noticed the expression on the man's face quickly change- his eyes suddenly filled up and he went on to tell me,"this is my first Christmas without my Mom.....and it is really hard"...and he kept repeating "it is really hard." It really touched me and I told him how sorry I was and that I could imagine that it was a difficult time for him. In that instant, our existance as total strangers diminshed by light speed, and suddenly we were two human beings having a connecting moment. The man took a deep breath and a big swallow, so as to pull himself together and said, "my name is Todd", as if he felt compelled to share his name after sharing such a personal moment with me.....I reciprocated and said my name and then there was a moment of silence and quiet understanding and Todd said goodbye. In that moment of silence all I could do is look him in the eyes and tell him how sorry I was and hoped that the small gesture was enough.
This weekend I also had the opportunity to meet my 1st interviewee for my book on Selective Mutism. Talk about powerful human connection. We met for the first time at diner in Annapolis, Maryland. We had only talked via email prior to our meeting. Neither of us knew what to expect and I know I was a little anxious about how things would go. My first inclination was to give her a hug when we met, as I felt like we already had an unspoken bond in having SM kids and this shared experience. We proceeded to talk for over 3 hours and had I not had to leave to catch my flight, I imagine we could have stayed there all day talking. Another reason to be grateful- having had this opportunity to connect in person and hear her family's unique and inspiring journey with SM.
Finally, today I was doing my 'usual' run to Target and had another connecting moment. I was looking at some Christmas decorations and came across something that made me smile- a Star Wars Yoda tree topper- no lie, you could actually top your tree with a Yoda that lit up....what a riot! I was partially amused and partially horrified about putting something like this on top of my Christmas tree. As I stood there, having this internal struggle in my head, I let out a few chuckles. A young man, who looked to be about thirty-something, was in the same aisle and turned and looked at me. A little embarrassed that I was making a "scene", I quickly explained, "I was just laughing over this tree topper- what will they think of next - my 5 year old son would LOVE this and I was thinking about the joy on his face if I were to bring it home." I was about to look away and move on with my shopping when I noticed the expression on the man's face quickly change- his eyes suddenly filled up and he went on to tell me,"this is my first Christmas without my Mom.....and it is really hard"...and he kept repeating "it is really hard." It really touched me and I told him how sorry I was and that I could imagine that it was a difficult time for him. In that instant, our existance as total strangers diminshed by light speed, and suddenly we were two human beings having a connecting moment. The man took a deep breath and a big swallow, so as to pull himself together and said, "my name is Todd", as if he felt compelled to share his name after sharing such a personal moment with me.....I reciprocated and said my name and then there was a moment of silence and quiet understanding and Todd said goodbye. In that moment of silence all I could do is look him in the eyes and tell him how sorry I was and hoped that the small gesture was enough.
Human connection is a powerful thing. Connecting with other people is what gives us meaning to our lives. I am grateful for all my connections this week--they are not only gifts but reminders of how blessed I am and how small gestures make a difference. I hope that in the hectic season we can all be on the lookout for ways to connect with family, friends AND strangers by being truly present and aware of their needs.
Great book to get you in the spirit of Connecting and Giving:
"29 Gifts" by Cami Walker
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How moving this piece was to read. I don't find the chance meeting between you and Todd all that "chance". I'm glad you were the one in that isle at that time for him to share his heart to. Now you have shared his story and given me another person to pray for who will be experiencing this holiday without a loved one due to their passing. What do you know....another conncection.
ReplyDeleteHuman Connection. You said it all. Hope you have a human connection on the ping pong table tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteWow Jess - you have really found your voice through this blog and your power to make a human connection by sparking something inside of each of us who read it. Thank you for the inspiration to be grateful for all of the connections I encounter in the upcoming days.
ReplyDeleteJess! Another wonderful read! Is the picture of you and Mimi from your recent trip? She looks great, as always, and I'm so glad. I hope your time with her was all that you wanted and needed. I will have Mimi in my prayers, and this season I will pray for Todd also. I hope he feels the positive energy and prayer that is a result of your chance meeting, your love of the "connection" with him, and your blog.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, dear one. Brad and I are so sorry our trip had to be cancelled because we were looking forward to being with you, J., and your little ones. Hopefully...before long...we too can "connect".
Great blog Jess. I hope to see Yoda on top of your tree. Tera
ReplyDeleteGreat blog and great story. It is a great reminder to keep in mind that the people we encounter during our daily activities could be really struggling with something. I have been thinking about that lately as a friend of mine suddenly lost his wife in Sept. at only 42. I know that he is in mourning and getting through a shopping trip is very difficult for him. But I have wondered about the people who he comes across who have no idea how badly he and his sons are hurting. I pray that everyone he comes across will be as caring as you were with Todd. Thanks again for the reminder!
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